Well it’s May and I’ve already had my first two races of the year derailed. One as a DNS (injury) and another as a DNF (mystery ailment that’s still being determined). It was easier to accept the first one because it was a road race and honestly I was getting less and less excited about it the more it approached. The second one hurt a bit more as I had been training my little tushy off and was feeling strong! Quad Rock is a race I’ve been at the past two years to support other runners at but hadn’t had the opportunity to run myself yet. I was really excited to experience the course and it ended up being a beautiful, perfect day out (something that race hasn’t experience in 3 years). It was disappointing to get to mile 10 and realize that it just wasn’t safe or smart for me to continue. It’s been 4 days and I still feel really off and I can barely run 3 miles without a struggle. I’ve been a bit in denial about it, thinking that if I just wait a few more days, my body will recover and I can get back into running normally again…but I’m beginning to think it might not be that simple which is the most frustrating part of it all. The DNF I can live with, it’s just a race and I can always go back and run the course on my own or next year. It’s the feeling like I went from hero to zero physically in the span of a few days and not understanding how or why that happened. Getting knocked down and humbled by running is something I should be used to by now, but apparently I still have some work to do in that area.
As I spent all day in bed Sunday, having zero energy and feeling so mentally low that not even my usual pep talks were turning my feelings around, I felt a bit scared. I didn’t want to be in a dark hole emotionally again, as I had just a few short months ago. I want to be thriving and working toward my goals with a positive outlook like I feel I’ve been successfully doing as of late. As anyone knows though, you sometimes just have to ride out the feelings until your head is clear again. So I may not be physically feeling one hundo again, but my mind is at least more clear and I can think a bit more logically and positively. Because literally FUCK DEPRESSING THOUGHTS. I’m not letting those assholes win and take over again.
So in that effort. Here are some amazing things that have happened in my life lately and that I am super proud of.
I started my own freaking business and I still can’t believe it sometimes. Not even a month and half ago, I launched MissShellShock Coaching and I officially have 3 awesome clients right now (technically 5 including my sisters who were crazy enough to let me practice on them starting out and are low-key CRUSHING IT). It’s been incredible all of the love and support I have received and it’s been rewarding beyond expectation to see the growth of my athletes in such a short amount of time. I’m so glad that I followed through and made this a reality.
I started strength training with The Chiro Lab in January, something that I thought I HATED and have quickly grown to love. I have muscles now, yay!! I look forward to my twice a week workouts instead of dreading them and it’s helped my running become stronger by a boatload! It’s so nice to feel like a more balanced athlete and meeting Ellen has been a fantastic addition to both my personal and athletic life (as well as everyone else at our gym family!)
My Roommate (s)
Honestly, I have had some wicked good luck in the roommate department in Colorado which is something I’m incredibly grateful for. When I was going through my breakup, I moved into a house with 4 other ladies, which was a gamble that ended up being fantastic. All 4 of them were so amazing and welcoming to me and my kitty family and I was very sad that we had to end up separating due to the house selling. Aubrea, Casey, Andrea and Sarah, you guys were DA LITERAL BOMB and I’m so thankful you were there at that time in my life. Then just when I thought my roommate luck would run out, I got set up with my current one via Instagram (shout out to Sarah Coombs!). We are 7 years apart which could have been dicey but we basically require all the same things as roommates, clean up after ourselves and have handled having the shower from hell with beauty and with grace (she’s Miss United States). She’s also been down every time I’ve asked her to join me for a run and picked up on trail running like a frickin’ boss so yeah, she rad. Can’t wait to move into a house with you and all the dogs Ali!
This was by far, one of the coolest things I’ve gotten to be a part of and I still can’t wrap my head around getting selected to join. Salomon brought a small group of Ambassadors and Athletes down to Ogden, UT (the USA HQ) and treated us to some training, trail running, food and an inspirational group of talented and amazing people. IT WAS THE BEST. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much or died so hard trying to keep up with people in a 3 day span. Being an Ambassador for Salomon has changed my life. I’ve met so many great people and participated in so many unbelievable things. I hope to forever be a part of this wonderful family.
Regardless of the outcome of my races, my training block the last few months have felt amazing. I’ve been getting out for some really strong runs and overall feeling really happy and satisfied with the things I’ve been accomplishing. I have re-framed a lot of my thinking in regards to running and these races not going as planned are just a nice little test of that.
Well there it is, just a small list of things I am grateful for and a reminder that life is overall pretty great, especially if I work toward making it that way every day. Everything is temporary; pain, happiness, success, tears. It’s what I choose to remember and focus on that can last a lifetime. Here’s to choosing the good.